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Hand Flapping

Sometimes, when I’m hypomanic, I flap my hands. I can usually make it stop if I try, but it feels better to do it. Sometimes I pace, fast. I try not to let anyone see me do these things.

I’ve heard people refer to these actions as stims, a term borrowed from the autism lexicon meaning calming repetitive motions.

These are not stims. This is psychomotor agitation. This is Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys. It’s restless energy that needs to escape.

There’s no treatment for it in particular (besides treatment for bipolar as a whole). It’s just another symptom, a sign for me to pay attention. A disappointment when you thought things were going well.

Psychomotor agitation is embarrassing to me. There are a lot of symptoms of bipolar that no one can see from the outside, so I can pretend I have things under control, at least in front of some people. But hand flapping gives it away.



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