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What Not to Say

There are plenty of lists of things that are unhelpful to say to people who have bipolar (links at end), and there’s no need to repeat them here. Instead, I’ll cathartically list my personal pet peeves.

1. Bipolar people are so creative. I wish I had bipolar.

Fuck dude. No, you really don’t. That creative window (before becoming completely dysfunctional) is an obsessive task master that destroys whatever structure and relationships you’ve built. Then there’s the frequent depression and the increased likelihood of suicide. So, thanks for minimizing my experience, but it’s really not worth it.

2. Can you channel it? / I bet your house is so clean.

What? This one always come in response to hypo/mania. And no, I can’t channel it. And no, my house isn’t clean. If anything, it’s even more of a wreck. I don’t get to choose what my brain fixates on when I’m hypomanic. I can’t magically decide to use my “extra energy” on domestic projects (nor would I). Trash everything in my closet and start several projects I’ll never finish, yes. A gleaming kitchen, not so much.

3. Other people have it worse.

Holy shit you guys. I get it—I have chronic physical pain and the downward comparison of “Other people have it worse” can help at times. If they can get through it, I can get through it too. But when it’s mental, it’s different. Here’s what I hear: other people have it worse but they don’t blow up their jobs or want to kill themselves, so I must be weak and a failure. That might not be what you mean, but to me, that’s what you’re saying.

There are a bunch of others, and I hope you’ll take a second to check out some of the other lists like this one, or this one, or this one.



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