Skip to main content

This is Your Life

Recently I’ve been waiting 

to wake up

This can’t be my life

Not knowing what to expect

of myself

from one day to the next

Spending all my energy on

hiding

pretending

reining it in

instead of something

useful

 

But I know

this is it

I know

I better make the best of it

As aggravating

and bizarre

as it is

This 

is my life






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hand Flapping

Sometimes, when I’m hypomanic, I flap my hands. I can usually make it stop if I try, but it feels better to do it. Sometimes I pace, fast. I try not to let anyone see me do these things. I’ve heard people refer to these actions as stims, a term borrowed from the autism lexicon meaning calming repetitive motions. These are not stims. This is psychomotor agitation. This is Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys . It’s restless energy that needs to escape. There’s no treatment for it in particular (besides treatment for bipolar as a whole). It’s just another symptom, a sign for me to pay attention. A disappointment when you thought things were going well. Psychomotor agitation is embarrassing to me. There are a lot of symptoms of bipolar that no one can see from the outside, so I can pretend I have things under control, at least in front of some people. But hand flapping gives it away.

Welcome to Blobfish-a-Go-Go!

Welcome to BLOBFISH-A-GO-GO, a blog about living with rapid cycling bipolar 2. My name is Amy Vaughn. I’m an on-again-off-again teacher, writer, and editor. My intentions for this blog are twofold: (1) to help me process what is proving to be a new phase of living with bipolar and (2) to maybe help some people better understand their own or their loved one’s experience. I intend to limit each post to give or take 200 words. One idea in a one minute read. My mascot, the blobfish, is a public domain drawing I found on Wikimedia Commons. Here are his details: By Gb89.2 - Own work, CC0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=103236660 I have another website all about my writing, which I steadfastly neglect. But if you’re interested, it’s amymvaughn.com .  

Brain Helpers, Part 2a

Besides the categories of eat, sleep, move, use it, and be social (covered in Part 1 ),   science has found other ways we can repair, protect, and grow our brains. Here are some of them. I've divided these suggestions into physical and mental to keep posts small. Physical things we can do to repair, protect, and grow our brains Keep hydrated to clear out waste and increase communication speeds. Dehydration leads to drop offs in short term memory, numerical ability, and attention as well as causing generally slower cognitive functioning and confusion. Get enough sunlight . Lack of sunlight brings on neurotransmitter imbalances and cognitive impairment. Floss. Gum inflammation has been linked to brain inflammation. Also, keeping our teeth (1) in our mouths and (2) pain-free means we’re able to chew healthy foods. Reduce physical stress to reduce mental stress . Practice the relaxation response (engaging the peripheral nervous system) through meditation, yoga, tai chi, pr