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Reverse Emo Poem

No one gets it not really (unless they’ve been there) the shift of consciousness into a person who is me but not me a person who thinks thoughts I would never think does things I would never do   No one gets it but they can still sit   talk   be with me even if sometimes they get things wrong even if sometimes they get frustrated   They can still keep me from  floating away They can keep the dark loneliness at bay No one gets it but they can still be a comfort a shield a protector saving me from myself   They don’t need to get it to love me
Recent posts

Brain Helpers, Part 2b

Besides everything listed in Brain Helpers Part 1 ,  science has found a number of other ways we can repair, protect, and grow our brains. I’ve collected some of them and divided them into Physical and Mental for posting purposes. Here are the Mental ones. (And here are the Physical ones.) Mental ways to repair, protect, and grow your brain Reduce stress . Too much stress kills neurons, alters brain structures, impairs memory, and leaves us more susceptible to mental illness. In bipolarites, it triggers episodes. The conversation around reducing stress won’t fit here. For now, this Harvard Health article and this NAMI list cover a lot of ground. Do puzzles . This isn’t a global fix for brain health, but it has been shown to help with attention, reasoning, and memory. Be happy . I know, I know , but happy brains are better at memory and learning, and they kick ass at neuroplasticity. There is a huge (like 30%) global increase in function in happy brains. All of this means a b

Brain Helpers, Part 2a

Besides the categories of eat, sleep, move, use it, and be social (covered in Part 1 ),   science has found other ways we can repair, protect, and grow our brains. Here are some of them. I've divided these suggestions into physical and mental to keep posts small. Physical things we can do to repair, protect, and grow our brains Keep hydrated to clear out waste and increase communication speeds. Dehydration leads to drop offs in short term memory, numerical ability, and attention as well as causing generally slower cognitive functioning and confusion. Get enough sunlight . Lack of sunlight brings on neurotransmitter imbalances and cognitive impairment. Floss. Gum inflammation has been linked to brain inflammation. Also, keeping our teeth (1) in our mouths and (2) pain-free means we’re able to chew healthy foods. Reduce physical stress to reduce mental stress . Practice the relaxation response (engaging the peripheral nervous system) through meditation, yoga, tai chi, pr

Brain Helpers, Part 1

1. Move* In the simplest terms, exercise takes the bad stuff out of our blood so it can’t harm the brain. And it gets the brain to release the good stuff that heals it, protects it, and helps it grow. 2. Sleep > 6 hours a night. Sleep is when the little sanitation workers clear the brain of its refuse, metaphorically and literally. If the garbage isn’t taken out, it becomes hard to process information or make new memories. 3. Eat The brain loves beautiful nutrients, especially the kind found in leafy greens, berries, and nuts. The brain is not down with the fatty, sugary, refined craptacular deliciousness that surrounds us. Healthy fats are cool though. Omega-3s FTW. 4. Use it Do new things. Learn new things. Enjoy it. Increase the complexity. This not only creates new pathways, it gives brains an overall resilience against stress and damage. 5. Love your people Strong social bonds lower stress and inflammation and help us sleep better. Doing things in groups, espe

What Bipolar Does to the Brain

I’ve been researching what bipolar does to the brain and seriously—fuck. There’s both a lot more research than my 25-year-old B.A. in Psychology could assimilate and not nearly enough. A layperson’s book on the subject is sorely needed. Here’s the gist. * There’s solid evidence that the dysfunction during depressive and manic states causes changes that persist into our baseline states. * There are several neurotransmitters involved: dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, GABA (gamma-aminobutyrate), glutamate, and acetylcholine at the least. And hormones that act like neurotransmitters are in the mix, too, like endorphins and oxytocin. * Brain structures yet discovered to be involved/affected include areas of the prefrontal and temporal lobes, the hippocampus, thalamus, and hypothalamus. * Bipolar affects both grey and white matter, meaning both the structural elements of the brain and the connective tissue between them. And by affects, I mean corrodes over time. There’s mor

This is Your Life

Recently I’ve been waiting  to wake up This can’t be my life Not knowing what to expect of myself from one day to the next Spending all my energy on hiding pretending reining it in instead of something useful   But I know this is it I know I better make the best of it As aggravating and bizarre as it is This  is my life

Being Prepared for the Worst (Hypo/Manic Edition)

There are so many things we can fuck up in a flash when we aren’t in our right mind: ruined relationships, physical injury, destroyed property. Stories of going to jail or becoming homeless aren’t uncommon. And don’t forget all the fucking. Or spending money you don’t have, spending other people’s money, gambling, or making bad investments. Oh, and the drugs, because impulse control doesn’t exist, and it feels so much better to be fucked up than it feels to be me. Because I just need a goddamn break from this bullshit that is my brain. Ok, so how do we prepare for hypo/mania? *  Tell someone at the first sign. This makes it real and undercuts any denial. (This also means you need the self-awareness to watch for signs. Meditation helps with this.) *  Cancel everything. *  Take any emergency prescription drugs you have (like benzos). *  Do what calms you.   *  Stick to the routine, including sleep (<- hear that?). *  If you find yourself beginning to make bad deci