Being Prepared for the Worst (Hypo/Manic Edition)

There are so many things we can fuck up in a flash when we aren’t in our right mind: ruined relationships, physical injury, destroyed property. Stories of going to jail or becoming homeless aren’t uncommon.

And don’t forget all the fucking.

Or spending money you don’t have, spending other people’s money, gambling, or making bad investments.

Oh, and the drugs, because impulse control doesn’t exist, and it feels so much better to be fucked up than it feels to be me. Because I just need a goddamn break from this bullshit that is my brain.

Ok, so how do we prepare for hypo/mania?

* Tell someone at the first sign. This makes it real and undercuts any denial. (This also means you need the self-awareness to watch for signs. Meditation helps with this.)

* Cancel everything.

* Take any emergency prescription drugs you have (like benzos).

* Do what calms you.

* Stick to the routine, including sleep (<- hear that?).

* If you find yourself beginning to make bad decisions, call or text somebody. Maybe it's the CRISIS TEXT LINE (text HELLO to 741741) or maybe it's someone who can be with you. If they can stay on an open phone call or chat with you, that’s better than nothing. Best case scenario, this is someone who will call your psychiatrist if things go from hypo- to manic and they need a higher authority to intervene.

There’s no cure. There’s just riding it out doing the least damage possible. Man, do I wish that was otherwise.

Comments

Embrace the Cheese

Why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves—gentle, caring, compassionate—when inside and recovering from an episode? Because we are not who we grew up wanting to be, thinking we’d become. In that sense, we are failures. Because we are reminded every morning with that first pill that something is wrong with us, will always be wrong with us. Because we were taught to be strong women and men. We were taught that if we worked hard enough, were smart enough, we could do anything . Solve the problem! Pull yourself up by your bootstraps! “Pure Horatio Alger,” says Hunter Thompson, which should be our first clue if not our forty-seventh. It’s hard to be kind, gentle, compassionate, when our brains are incessantly tearing us down, trying to get us to give up, give all the way up. It’s hard not to believe your own brain. But we have to believe we deserve kindness and compassion from ourselves. It takes work. I’m certainly still working on it. It takes mindfulness and self-remembering...

Self-Care for Bipolar Depression

Similar to the list for Self-Carefor Hypomanic Episodes , this is the one I use for depression. Some entries are exactly the same, but they work differently here. Self-Care Strategies for Bipolar Depression Tell someone what’s going on. Verbalizing it makes it real and lets you know you’re not alone. Stick to the routine . The routine will get you out of bed. The routine will get you fed and showered. Let the routine take care of you. Try caffeine. If you aren’t addicted to caffeine and it still has the effect of giving you a little jolt, sometimes it can help. Be sure you aren’t in a mixed episode first though. Avoid stressors. Fuck em. Distract, distract, distract. My go-to is streaming. I save a few favorite shows for the shittiest of times. Some people find more comfort in rewatching. Maybe your go-to is music, drawing, reading, video games. Whatever you can hand your brain over to for safe keeping, do that. Limit social media. Funny memes? Sure. Doom scrolli...

Sleep

All of my life, nighttime has been my favorite time. I’m most at peace, most relaxed and myself at night, when the world has gone to bed. When there is no more work, no chores or errands, and the phone can safely be ignored. Loved ones sleep soundly, needing nothing from me, and I am free to write, to read, to watch old movies, to unwind completely, stay up late in the quiet dark, and simply be. But the number one signal/trigger of a bipolar episode is disturbed sleep. My respite has consequences. So now my sleep hygiene (such a Dr. Kellogg kind of term) is perfect. A good eight hours every night (drug induced if need be). No caffeine after three, if at all. No alcohol. No wild nights out. The choice is follow the routine or lose even more days to the disorder. Be good or else.

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