Being Prepared for the Worst (Hypo/Manic Edition)

There are so many things we can fuck up in a flash when we aren’t in our right mind: ruined relationships, physical injury, destroyed property. Stories of going to jail or becoming homeless aren’t uncommon.

And don’t forget all the fucking.

Or spending money you don’t have, spending other people’s money, gambling, or making bad investments.

Oh, and the drugs, because impulse control doesn’t exist, and it feels so much better to be fucked up than it feels to be me. Because I just need a goddamn break from this bullshit that is my brain.

Ok, so how do we prepare for hypo/mania?

* Tell someone at the first sign. This makes it real and undercuts any denial. (This also means you need the self-awareness to watch for signs. Meditation helps with this.)

* Cancel everything.

* Take any emergency prescription drugs you have (like benzos).

* Do what calms you.

* Stick to the routine, including sleep (<- hear that?).

* If you find yourself beginning to make bad decisions, call or text somebody. Maybe it's the CRISIS TEXT LINE (text HELLO to 741741) or maybe it's someone who can be with you. If they can stay on an open phone call or chat with you, that’s better than nothing. Best case scenario, this is someone who will call your psychiatrist if things go from hypo- to manic and they need a higher authority to intervene.

There’s no cure. There’s just riding it out doing the least damage possible. Man, do I wish that was otherwise.

Comments

Rapid Cycling

To earn a rapid cycling badge, a person has to have four or more episodes in a year. Good times! I can’t begin to imagine what that’s like with full-blown mania. Hypomania and depression are enough, thanks! Before I got an accurate diagnosis and serviceable meds, I rarely went two weeks before starting a new episode. Up, down, up, down, up, down. It took years of work to figure out my baseline, i.e., what it feels like to just be me. I still have 4–10 days every few weeks when I’m very up, very down, or first one and then the other. I know some of my triggers: stress, lack of sleep, too much alcohol or caffeine. But some episodes come out of the blue. Rapid cycling means you never know. It means you can be in the middle of an exceptionally bad day before you realize, “Oh, this is depressive irritability” or whatever. And then you’re supposed to have the presence of mind to apply the tools that help you minimize any damage. Which is to say, it gets the jump on you, and because...

What Bipolar Does to the Brain

I’ve been researching what bipolar does to the brain and seriously—fuck. There’s both a lot more research than my 25-year-old B.A. in Psychology could assimilate and not nearly enough. A layperson’s book on the subject is sorely needed. Here’s the gist. * There’s solid evidence that the dysfunction during depressive and manic states causes changes that persist into our baseline states. * There are several neurotransmitters involved: dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, GABA (gamma-aminobutyrate), glutamate, and acetylcholine at the least. And hormones that act like neurotransmitters are in the mix, too, like endorphins and oxytocin. * Brain structures yet discovered to be involved/affected include areas of the prefrontal and temporal lobes, the hippocampus, thalamus, and hypothalamus. * Bipolar affects both grey and white matter, meaning both the structural elements of the brain and the connective tissue between them. And by affects, I mean corrodes over time. There’s mor...

Sleep

All of my life, nighttime has been my favorite time. I’m most at peace, most relaxed and myself at night, when the world has gone to bed. When there is no more work, no chores or errands, and the phone can safely be ignored. Loved ones sleep soundly, needing nothing from me, and I am free to write, to read, to watch old movies, to unwind completely, stay up late in the quiet dark, and simply be. But the number one signal/trigger of a bipolar episode is disturbed sleep. My respite has consequences. So now my sleep hygiene (such a Dr. Kellogg kind of term) is perfect. A good eight hours every night (drug induced if need be). No caffeine after three, if at all. No alcohol. No wild nights out. The choice is follow the routine or lose even more days to the disorder. Be good or else.

blobfish-a-go-go

Search This Blog