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Give In vs. Fight

Already you know this is a false dichotomy, but it is my false dichotomy! The one I struggle with during every single episode. Although, usually, I weigh in heavily on the side of fight. But I get ahead of myself. What the fuck am I talking about?

During a bipolar episode, the mood wants you stay in bed; wallow; all carbs, only carbs. Or let’sgo-dothething-postwithoutediting-makeithappen-goplay-revrevrev. You get the point—give in.

My immediate reaction, once I figure out what’s going on, is to tell it NO. I don’t want to be in an episode. If I just do the right thing, think the right thing, it will go away and I will be me again. I fight hard, but the fighting feeds into the mood: I’m failing at life because I can’t control this; I’ll read every single thing about bipolar until I find my fix.

When really, the best way to handle an episode is probably self-compassion. I say probably because I’m awful at it and can’t speak from experience. But I’m going to try being gentle with myself, even though that is ridiculously hard.





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